Clouds and Trees

"Nothing ever goes away enough or arrives enough,/ and I want to cry when I think of my heart,/ muscle pounding in muscle, greedy always for joy." – 'A Warning', Eric Anderson

Month: March, 2008

Spice (pt. 6)

This is for you. It’s time.

I am silence
hear my voice
I am these frozen,
broken toys
I am the blood
pumped through your veins
I am that look
of perpetual disdain

hate me love me hold me tight
deadly whispers cry at night
I am the brushfire of your soul
wind keeps me alive.

make your bets
wish on silent skin
crack it open
smash it in
hold the dice
against your chest
stop breathing and believe

fight your hatred
hate your lust
breed your imposing, loathing trust
I knew you to be true
back in the day when it was new
don’t you wonder where it’s gone
don’t you hold your fingers on
that spot and push until it hurts
I wish you knew me
I’m so glad you ever did.

Spice (pt. 5)

This is for you

I’m mad, I’m fight, I’m anger too
I’m everything that hates everything
that’s you
even that’s meager to be true
I’m nothing to you

sell your soul to those who might
save it for the right price
and ask you later what it’s worth
and make your reasons seem like
the folly of the fox and lamb
wanting what you cannot have
I love the feeling of burning living life
I miss it sometimes

can’t you feel me
can’t you see
that it’s broken
crooked, creased
and on the day it falls apart
I’ll have stopped ticking
tocking
for you

Spice (pt. 4)

This is for you.

let your questions die with me
let your oceans break and leave
and as the masses finally concede
lay here and grieve
no one else believes

Death is easy
life is hard
we made that distinction
back when we fought
and lost and tried
to make it all
new

I miss your hopes
I miss the call
of ten thousand doves upon the wind at night
and when the black became the sky
I wondered why those doves could fly
and if we clipped their wings and closed their eyes
took the souls right out from under them
would they make it, push through the night
would they miss the sky, the bright
and in their blind eyes, would they take to flight
I wish their dreams were true
I dream these dreams for you.

Spice (pt. 3)

This is for you.

make me anything at all
I need your question
let me fall
and when one kiss is not enough
I’ll have lived and died
this time I’m done

and if you wonder where I’ve gone
I’ll tell you anything at all
a smile will make me bleed slowly
kill me with your kiss
your thought, your blessing, your want, your wish.

I wish I had you
I wish I knew
why these cuts slice
through and through
and with you
these lights turn to night
let me set with your sun
let me set with you

I miss you
I miss what we had
I miss your everyday constraints
the people make you want to break
these chains and fight the swords
that made you bleed

goodnight
goodnight
goodnight
goodbye

Spice (pt. 2)

This is for you.

make your decisions
turn them in
tell us of
the life you lived
and was it worth it when cried
was it worth it when you died

fill it out
fill it in
and what we are
shadows in skin
I miss the feel of yours on mine
the day shadows turned into light

I wonder at the mixture of
life and strife and might and love
we are the struggle to believe
to need everything

make my mind one with yours
who is the seashell on your shore
lift and hold it to your ear
I’m screaming in there day by day
into the seashells, into the fray
eventually you’ll find them
and you’ll say, where have you gone?

kill me and hold me
brittle and tough
easily broken, your look’s enough
to make me fold over and
shatter into myself
one thousand times
I smiled.

Spice (pt. 1)

This is for you.

and don’t you fight
and don’t you bleed
and don’t you tear
at the place where
your muscles meet
your everyday,
incomplete.
I miss the thought
that brought you in
the silent mind
her deadly pin
the last one
to make it in.

Why don’t we shed these puzzles
make movements on your lonely side
and will you stay and try to fight?

there is someone out there who knows
there is someone in here who goes
into the places where I breathe and
pulse and bleed
and one day when we are gone
they’ll find your lonely thoughts upon
the loss that you have assumed
the hole that was left here.

stay gold.

You’re the most depressing person I know
But somehow it makes me happy to see you
In that moment
I’ve learned not to dwell on everyday trivialities
Relationships fleeting, friendships fading
Don’t attach a face to these mistakes
I can’t wait to see what you think of me
Do I even know you anymore?
I can’t wait to feel your heart next to me
There’s a place for us, god I love that song
When we die, will you miss all of this?
Was there ever anything to believe in?
Isn’t there something here that matters to you?
Isn’t there something that you want?
Something you need?
Every time I think of you I wonder
And I don’t know why I should need this anymore
Why I should need you
Every thing seems wrong about that
And yes, it might be silly but it’s what I live on
It’s what makes me breathe at night
And when I blink
In that moment of darkness
I see you
And miss you more than ever

Recesses

You write poetry
like silver slipping off your tongue.
Sleepless whispers
in this cavernous temple.
Breathe life into this place
with your silver words.

Black & white streetlights
define our step-by-step visions.
Descending into the smokey den
escaping, for a second,
into momentary autumn.
Our lives, forever changing
Our winters, forever yielding to spring

you say, Hopelessness is the silliest of attitudes
in this, the womb of the city.

Accepting your brilliance,
we step out once again.

Standing on the street,
we let the cold night fill our lungs,
as if to say; you are forever mine,
move on, move on.

Foreboding

There’s a veritable tidal wave
coming my way
I can feel it on the breeze
see it
in the way you walk
glancing at me
from downcast eyes
there’s something coming,
isn’t there?
and if not,
why am I so afraid.

Give me moments

she met him in a grocery store
she’d never seen his face before
she didn’t even know his name
even so she loved him all the same
even so she loved him all the same

she went to school, saw no one else
she asked herself, if he was worth it
nonetheless she watched him everyday
nonetheless she watched him everyday

he moved into the house nextdoor
in the kitchen, on the floor
she said hello and he replied
I have never seen your face before
why’ve I never seen your face before

over coffee, in the park
they talked like they never had before
eyes making love, je t’adore
she said that she hoped it would never end
she said that she hoped it would never end

off to college, bodies spent
questioning if this was meant
to last longer than their feelings could
to last longer than their feelings would

two thousand miles away, he said to her
we’re not in the backyard, anymore
let’s move on, we’ve got all life to learn
let’s move on we’ve got all life to learn

back on the playground, in the store
she wondered what it all was for
where does the time go she wants to know
where does the time go she wants to know

finally, it’s time to die
she’s prepared to say goodbye
she wishes he would be right by her side
she wishes he would be right by her side

memories, on the wind
he sits thinking ’bout her still
suddenly the world seems awfully still
suddenly the world seems awfully still.